4am Forever
by Pintsize Heroine
Summary: Songfic with Lostprophets' 4am Forever.


4am Forever

_Yesterday I lost my closest friend  
Yesterday I wanted time to end  
I wonder if my heart will ever mend  
I just let you slip away_

4 AM forever

I remember the time I first saw you cry. It was 4am, and your invisibility cloak slipped. You had just seen your parents in the Mirror of Erised and you were devastated. I wanted to hold you. I hated seeing you cry. When you snubbed me in the corridors, when you sneered back at me in Potions, you seemed so strong. You think I have no heart? My father may seem cold and unfeeling, but he's my father and I'm his son, and we love each other as father and son. I don't know what I'd do without my father and it broke my heart that you'd lost yours. I feel for anyone who's lost parents, and that included you.

_Maybe I'll never see you smile again  
Maybe you thought that it was all pretend;  
All these words that I could never say  
I just let them slip away_

4 AM forever

I remember the first time I realized I had feelings for you. It was 4am and I'd sneaked into the Prefects bathroom to take an insomnia-induced bath. But as I crept in, I realized you were already there. I watched you that night Harry. I felt so sick at doing so. I hated you, and I still hate you but you were beautiful that night. You got embarrassed because you thought Myrtle could see you naked, not realizing it was me who could see you instead. It was so sordid and perverted, watching you like that, but I couldn't take my eyes off you. After that I found myself watching you in class, laughing with Weasel and the Mudblood, practicing Quidditch, even just eating. You fascinated me. Everything you do is done with this strange sense of purpose. Like you have a duty in life. Then I remember that you do. And it's to fight against everything I've been brought up to believe in. Didn't stop me from being thoroughly in lust with you. You're a prick, but you're still hot.

_Why don't you hear me when I'm calling out to you (to you)  
Why don't you listen when I try to make it through (to you)  
Goodbye, goodbye  
Goodbye, you never know  
Hold a little tighter_

4 AM forever

I remember the first time we kissed. The Room of Requirement after I busted you and the DA. You went back there to mourn your only happiness and I went to gloat. Instead of walking in and mocking you, I walked in and kissed you. You pushed me away, horrified, then grabbed me and kissed me back. I might have busted you, and you might have hated me, but you couldn't deny that you wanted me. 4am in the morning Harry, and we were lying in the Room of Requirement in each other's arms seeking solace. You were scared, I was scared.

_Maybe one day when I can move along  
Maybe someday when you can hear this sing  
You won't let it slip away_

4 AM forever

I remember the first time we made love. You sneaked into the Slytherin dungeons at 4am the morning after Sirius' death and slipped into bed beside me. I found restoration in your arms, you found escape. I felt like I could do anything or be anyone at that moment in time as long as I could always keep your emerald green eyes fixed on mine. I watched our legs intertwine. Mine long, graceful, with translucent skin. Yours strong, bronzed, powerful. I forgot that we were both boys, that we were enemies. I basked in your glow and forgot you were a Gryffindor, everything I ever despised and more. To me, you were just Harry. You were tough, and resilient, and brave, and incredibly beautiful.

_And I'd wish the sun would never come  
It's 4 AM and you are gone  
I hope you know you're letting go  
It's 4 AM and I'm alone_

I remember the first time I told you I loved you. This morning at 4am. I looked into your stunning eyes and brushed your hair from your face. You kissed me and I whispered that I loved you. I never wanted the sun to some up. Never wanted this night to end. I felt so liberated. My life as a Death Eater stretched before me and I was going to give it all up. For you Harry, I couldn't fight against you, all I can do now is love you.

_Why don't you hear me when I'm calling out to you (to you)  
Why don't you listen when I try to make it through (to you)  
Goodbye, goodbye  
Goodbye, you never know  
Hold a little tighter_

4 AM forever...

Now you're gone. You told me it was just sex. It's 4am, and my heart is broken.


End file.
